Mr. Heinz's tour-de-fart is falling off the bookshelves!

And it's no wonder why! Where else will you find the secret to longevity, AdLibs, erotic poetry, run-on sentences, heartrending backstories, and fun, creative exercises designed by me to help you help yourself by being lit on fire and being your best self?!

Oprah will almost certainly never endorse this book - that's how you know it's good!